Try Not To Weep When You Read ADWEAK

Try Not To Weep When You Read ADWEAK.

Why? Well, You Work In ‘Advertising’, Right?

theeditorADWEAK joined Twitter in 2008 as @adweak. In case you are speed reading this is not… ADWEEK.

I’m not sure when I first found this humor + advertising + opinion Tweetland, but it has been my “Advertising Onion” for a long time. The thing is that these guys nail the world of advertising and its inhabitants again and again. Most readers, and there are close to 14K Followers, laugh along but, of course, cringe at ADWEAK’s over 2K Tweets about the insanity and insecurity of the world of advertising.

ADWEAK apparently (I stress apparently) started in 2000. I sleuthed out this fact by actually asking Google and received a link to the ADWEAK website where, as one might expect, there is little information beyond a general message that you will get little information. The website claims that they deliver “Ad Criticism and Blatantly Fake News.” I’ll let you visit to see what you find.

By the way, if you are wondering where my awful clickbait headline came from, head to the bottom of this post.


social_mediamugsWe have few ways to thank ADWEAK for making us feel like shit while laughing. One way is to buy an ADWEAK mug from their CafePress page. I suggest that you go and buy one about your specific job function to help you get real and also thank the Editor. I’d buy one but I somehow managed to sell my ad agency and ADWEAK does not have a congratulatory mug for this event.

They do have some mugs that should be highly relevant to everyone in today’s ad world. Like the one on the left. The copy: “BREAKING: Study Finds 90% Brands Should Just Shut The Fuck Up In Social Media” is one of my favorites.

Borrowed New Business Interest

The real point of this blog post is to highlight a few of my favorite ADWEAK Tweets that accurately nail the world of agency new business. I’ve added my thoughts below each. Why? Because I am using ADWEAK to quickly create this long copy blog (1,513 words) and because I just can’t stop talking about how many ad agencies can’t figure out how to hyper-charge their very own new business programs.

ADWEAK On Advertising Agency New Business

I’ve selected a smallish sample of ADWEAK’s Tweets on advertising agency new business. They generally nail it. But, I wanted to add my perspective on their 140 character perspectives.

I hope you’ll laugh. 

ADWEAK ‏@adweak  Sep 29

BREAKING: Agency With Really Cool Office Space Somehow Loses Pitch To Agency With Just Sort Of Ordinary Office Space

PL Comment: Saatchi & Saatchi London had very basic overly white digs. Basic black & white because the work spoke for itself. On the other hand, Saatchi New York  spent well over $250,000 building out a “new business suite” that included a dedicated conference room, a reception area, dining room and a kitchen. Did this palatial approach help NY win more accounts than London? No. Do most clients really want to see your cool reception area? No. Do they like to see how you overspend on foosball tables? No. Which brings me to the next point…

BREAKING: Agency President Wants To Make Sure Someone Is Using Ping Pong Table During Potential Client Office Tour

PL Comment: I stupidly bought a foosball table for my Internet start-up ActiveBuddy. In the early 2000’s I was competing with lots of other NYC start-ups for limited talent and thought that we needed to give our overworked staff some in-office play time. We didn’t really need to do this. I made the same mistake years later when I bought a ping pong table for my Portland agency. All I really got was to hear ping pong balls announcing that a couple of my AE’s seemed to prefer to play pong rather than work. It drove me freakin crazy.

By the way, my clients did not give a damn about the games. Surprising!?

BREAKING: Investigation Concludes Agencies Claiming Not To Be Ad Agencies Are, In Fact, Ad Agencies

PL Comment: Most clients still call most marketing communications agencies or digital agencies or social agencies Ad or Advertising Agencies.” Think I’m kidding? Let’s ask Google Trends. So, if you wanted to be found on Google… what would you call yourself?

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BREAKING: Agency Team Meets In Parking Lot After Pitch To Share Their Interpretations Of Client’s Body Language During Presentation

PL Comment: According to many advertising search consultants (read my book on pitching) say that at the end of the day interpersonal chemistry is how agencies get chosen.

BREAKING: Study Finds First 15 Minutes Of Agency New Business Meetings Spent Trying To Figure Out How Work The Projector

PL Comment: Again, read my book on pitching. Figure out where and how you are going to present well before you show up. You’ll like the Goodby Silverstein story.

BREAKING: Search Consultant Agrees 100% With Client’s Choice Of Agency Following Review

PL Comment: Of course.

BREAKING: Study Finds 90% Of Agencies Expecting Client To Put Account Into Review Any Day Now

PL Comment: Of course. Paranoia is rampant. So is the loss of client loyalty.

BREAKING: Big Agency Business Model Is Broken, According To Every Small Agency

PL Comment: If you are a small agency that does not say “we once worked at big agencies and we are gonna give you big agency talent at a better price and lower overhead with less hassle” call me up. Really, you don’t say this?

BREAKING: Agencies Running Out Of Words To Combine For Made-Up Terms Such As “Brandvertising” To Describe Their Unique Philosophy

PL Comment: Hey just do it. Why not? You need some differentiation. But, make sure your secret sauce deserves discussion.

BREAKING: New Business Director Tired Of Hearing From Junior Creative Team That Agency Should Go After A Beer Account

PL Comment: You think you hear this a lot? Try running an ad agency in Portland, Oregon. I did and I did.

BREAKING: New Business Meeting Gets Uncomfortably Awkward When Client Asks Who In Room Created The Spots On Agency Reel

PL Comment: LOL.

BREAKING: Agency Pitch Team Boldly Claims To Know Exactly What Prospective Client Needs Within Hour Of Receiving RFP

PL Comment: Give me two OK, three hours and a laptop and I can figure out what any client is doing wrong and should be doing right. And… so can any savvy ad agency leader with more than 10 year’s experience. The hard part is the strategy and… the execution.

ADWEAK RESEARCH: Should We Do A Book? Some Of Our Favorite Headlines And Other Shit. Thoughts?

PL Comment: Yes! Just watch my HubSpot presentation on writing agency books.

BREAKING: Digital, Social Agencies Still Referring To What They Do As Non-Traditional

PL Comment: I left advertising (the first time) in 1995 to join Advance Publications and put newspapers online. Digital marketing and advertising was invented in the mid-1990’s. 20 years ago. Digital is now traditional.

BREAKING: Lyft Asks Small Shops To Do Shitload Of Work On Video For Opportunity To Be Invited To Pitch They’ll Never Win

PL Comment: Please learn to say no.

BREAKING: New Business Directors Desperately Trying Figure Out Email Address of New CMO That Was Just Announced by Retail Brand

PL Comment: Just start using Datanyze.

BREAKING: Agency Had Really Hoped Someone Would Have Downloaded Their “White Paper” On Marketing By Now

PL Comment: Really? This isn’t that hard. Sorry. But, go check out my stats. Like this white paper thing I did for the healthcare industry that won us two new accounts. And, to date, over 2,700 views.

BREAKING: Client Narrows List of Agency Contenders to Those Who Don’t Refer to Themselves as “Brand Storytellers”

PL Comment: I like stories. But, you are competing with StoryBrand, so get it right.

And, My Favorite ADWEAK Tweet Of All Time

BREAKING: Unemployed New Business Consultants Know Exactly What Your Agency Needs To Win New Business

PL Comment: Yup, I am an unemployed new business consultant (well, and unemployed ex-agency owner and your competition has hired me).

I got into this consulting thing after I sold my agency and, like a lot of agency sellers, I had to do something during the three months that I promised the buyer that I’d stick around to make sure all of the accounts were happy with the transition. What I did do, because very few people at any new agency are interested in your opinion after you’ve sold your agency, was to analyze the buying agency and make some serious recommendations about their positioning, management, staffing and new business program. 

I realized that I actually know what I am doing. Give me a shout. That’s if you need help and want to stop sounding like the butt of an ADWEAK joke.


Oh, the headline… “Try Not To Weep When You Read ADWEAK.”  It came from one of those places that is forcing people to use ADBLOCKERS. I mean, how many inane ads can you take every day?

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